BAGEL OUT. ENGLISH MUFFIN IN.

I tried and tried to like that bagel. It just wouldn’t let me. It’s too tough, break your teeth, bite the inside of your lip trying to chew the dang thing. I developed recipes, nice ones, knowing other people worshipped the ugly thing trying to be a bun and a donut in one. No originality. Flavorless even when flavored. My dog daughter uses them like toys. Rolly Polly we call them, when Steve brings one home for Lilly Belle.

The bagel trying to be a sandwich is the biggest joke of all. I did it, tried it, it’s my way to expeiment. I succeeded by covering the hole with something that wouldn’t push through when biting into it. Spreading the thicker condiments on the lettuce rather than the bread. Some bagel-makers made a softer, more gentler, easier to stomach bagel, but they don’t stick around long. The big bagel-makers push them out.

I engineered my recipes for the head-in-the-sand bagel-eaters. They’re happy. But I can’t keep using a product that I have to alter so much in able to eat it. And they only stay fresh for one day. Hey, this isn’t in the category of a French baguette, where you know in advance to eat the day you buy.

Poppy seeds give pregnant women a positive opioid test and babies get taken away from their rightful mothers based on the results of that test.

On the ‘everything’ bagel they appear like tiny black dots all over it. That’s what bagel-eaters want, ‘everything’ so they don’t miss out on ‘anything’.

What they should have added is ‘everywhere’.

Strategy-wise, bagel-eaters don’t like to choose. Again, they’re afraid they’ll miss out on or lose something by choosing one or more over the others.

Did the bagel-makers stop putting poppyseeds on the bagels? NO. They relished in the attention, making the bagel even more appealing to addiction prone bagel-eaters. No high yet, but keep trying and it could happen if your body likes opioids, and many bagel-eating bodies do. Opioids gravitate to where they’re liked.

But those poor mothers whose babies were swiped away from them put into foster homes right from birth, because of that test. Babies bonding with strangers all because of the bagel-maker not wanting to change the recipe.

Now comes the sesame seed being highly allergic in allergy-prone people, which is a lot of people, since the number of people with allergies and sensitivities are rising through the roof. Yes, the sesame seed also appears on the ‘everything bagel’.

Still, that they kept the poppyseeds on… and washing doesn’t help much, since if you wash poppyseeds they clump together, so have to be dried, and that makes a mess and costs a whole lot more, so everybody makes light of it. Funny isn’t it? Bagel-maker too lazy to wash the poppyseeds. Change the test not the bagel, they say as they seeth through yeasty nails dug deep into their piles of dough.

That even one baby got swiped from his/her mother, and father too, is one family too much. Your baby sees some strange person first and bonds with that stranger, knows that stranger’s smell, cries for that stranger that isn’t you, just because you had to have an ‘everything’ bagel, knowing that the bagel had opioids that show up in a urine test when you go to the hospital to give birth.

What a heartache – a heartache that the entire world feels for that mother and that baby and that father and the families of both, whose smells will be strange to that baby when that baby is rightfully returned to it’s real family.

The Jews did that. And they’re still doing it.


Yes. The English Muffin is definitely superior to all bagels, seeded or not. It’s just the way life made it. Nooks and crannies is an English term, but the holes in the muffins are like basins or craters that hold liquid, that slowly seeps into the risen dough like syrup on pancakes, instead of holes where liquid falls straight through to your lap.

I’ll take the English muffin over the bagel any day of the week. I don’t have to find ways to like it. It’s perfect the way it is. Frankly I prefer my plant burgers on a lighly toasted English muffin rather than a burger bun. It’s sturdier and doesn’t fall apart as easily, but tender at the same time. Soft in the middle and lightly crisped on the edges when lightly toasted. That’s the only way I eat an English muffin, toasted.

Animal-Free is my only requirement – no milk or whey or any part of the animal disguised as a plant.

The chefs on Food Network turned their noses up at the English Muffin, but then again the bagel-makers butter their buns, plus they eat animals – the whole animal, raw, bloody, alive sometimes, insects too, so you know where their taste buds lie – at the bottom of the sewer of humanity. They laugh a lot – too much for culinary comfort. Not that it’s their fault – they can’t help themselves.

They keep telling people to stop them as they whistle past the graveyards of those they ate, to eat some more, but nobody does, because they know they’ll fight back with a vengeance few have seen in modern day. They want you to stop them as an excuse to release their brutality once more upon the world. Go ahead, I dare you.


So, the English Muffin wins hands down.

ENGLISH MUFFIN IN. BAGEL OUT.

 BOYCOTT BAGELS GLOBALLY






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