What’s it going to be?
No is the easiest word in any language to say. Yet it’s the hardest word to say to ourselves. Oh, we think it, but we don’t mean it.
When somebody else is asking, the word NO rolls off the tongue instantaneously, instinctively, as if the two second delay it takes to think or react becomes irrelevant.
Even when we trick people into thinking we’re thinking it over, we’re not. We’re playing the wait game long enough so as not to appear reckless, thoughtless, stuck in our ways.
I keep hearing people advising others to SAY YES TO YOURSELF. Maybe I did the same, thinking I was saying NO too often to me.
In reality, humans have a built-in wiring for yes and no. I suspect other animals have similar wiring.
Notice people don’t say no and yes, even though N comes before Y in the alphabet and we humans love to alphabetize everything for convenience and organizational purposes. They instinctively or intuitively say yes and no or yes or no?
Caution with others unfamiliar to us and less caution with ourselves whom we know better than than anybody who would be asking. That’s probably the gist of the why of it.
What does saying yes mean? What does it entail? What’s the fine print that I can’t see yet? What’s the person’s real motive? What’s the big smile about? Deception? Control?
On the other hand, sometimes we fool ourselves, saying yes so often that it hurts.
That tendency toward repetitive behaviors – thoughts or actions – often gets us stuck in either one of the categories – yes or no – sometimes too often for comfort.
Maybe MAYBE can get us out of those two polarizing options. But people want decisiveness. But there are only two options; that’s not enough.
Mull it over, but you know what you really want. Don’t you?
No? Yes? Maybe?
Now we’re lost in the field of indecision. Did you know you can get lost in a field as easily as in a forest?
People are strange about indecisiveness in others and themselves. They can’t make up their minds. I can’t make up my mind. Why?
Am I using WHY as in a question? Or am I using Why as in What Happened Yesterday?
Everything happened yesterday. If you are where you are right now in the moment. You already slept on it.
When someone says they’ll sleep on it, it means they’re letting their brain process the question unencumbered by your tactics and their prejudices.
How many nights do you need?
If it’s more than one, they’re stalling for time hoping the question will go away, which means NO.
Walk away. Do for yourself that which you we’re asking someone else to do – unless there’s no other way than to enlist help. Then ask somebody else.
The answer will always be NO. I’ve never heard anyone say, the answer will always be YES or the answer will always be MAYBE.
At this point, someone could stage it. The media stages everything, even the way they report an accident. But off the stage, I have never heard always yes or always maybe.
The exception is with ourselves. YES is most common. If it weren’t we’d be forever in the rut of stuck. But when the repetitive yes becomes destructive to the body mind soul of yourself and others, it requires a yes to fix it. By you, nobody else is invited to that meeting with yourself.
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