When Grandmothers Raise Their Children’s Children
When grandmothers raise their children’s children, the children grow up in the previous generation, missing the one they’re in.
Actually they miss two generations by never feeling comfortable in either.
Grandma talks about how it was in her day. The kids don’t hear from their own Mom how it was living with Grandma.
All the prejudices that Grandma had come home to roost again through her grandchildren. The kids don’t get the ‘when did it all change’ stories. They get the ‘world will never changes’ scenarios from Grandma, because her world didn’t change.
Or did it and she neglected to focus on the here and now, because truth be told she was raised by her Grandma too.
It doesn’t matter who raises you, but when old folks do the raising, the young ones miss out on the generation they’re actually living in.
It may be convenient and even necessary, but still the kids being raised by Grandma live in two generations, not totally immersed in either.
Other kids have modern parents, only because they’re parents and not grandparents.
I’ve heard Africa say they don’t want to be white, but they want the white family. White parents treat their kids differently than do black parents – generally speaking – regardless of social economic status. That’s from the black Africa perspective.
They don’t want to be white, they want the white family. That’s common. Many Blacks I talked to do not feel loved by their own families, by their own mother and father, even their grandparents. It’s just not there. This feeling is common, no matter the status of the family within society.
They see white parents treat their white kids with tenderness, and they’d sure like to try that out. But more than that, there’s less chaos. Or they think there is. They daydream about it.
No disrespect here to Grandmas. I had positive experiences with both of mine while growing up. But Grandma all the time isn’t healthy for the child or the Grandma.
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